Shattered
by iamkellylouise
Summary: When Sam tells Addison he doesn't want to see her the reality of what she's let go hits her at full speed, and then she does what she does best, she runs. Addisam. AU 3x15.


**A/N: Set in 3x15. Let's just say Maya's wedding was earlier in the day than in the show, so this first little scene was set at about 5ish? =P!**

* * *

"_Hey, it was a beautiful speech Sam...Sam"_

"_When you slept with Mark Sloan, I didn't really say anything, but Pete, Pete, he's my friend, he's my friend just like Naomi is your friend but, I guess that doesn't really matter to you"_

"_Sam"_

"_Please, it's my daughters wedding, i'm trying to be happy, so i'm gonna put this aside, but um, I don't wanna see you...i'm gonna go dance with my daughter now"_

~x~

"Addison" Pete called out as he climbed the stairs in her house, he slowly opened her bedroom door and found it empty "Addison?" he called out again, he suddenly heard a quiet noise coming from the bathroom, he slowly walked through and was instantly surprised by the sight of Addison sat on the floor with her back against the sink cabinets, her knees pulled to her chest, her body racked with sobs.

"Addison" he said slipping down onto the floor in front of her "What, what happened?" he asked "You disappeared after the, what, what's wrong?" he asked stroking her hair.

"I, I screwed up, I, I screwed it all up" Addison sobbed.

"What do you mean?" he asked softly "What happened?"

"Sam found out about, us and, and now he, he said that, he doesn't want to see me anymore because, he said that, when I slept with Mark he, didn't say anything but you, you're his friend just like, Naomi is my friend and, and he's right, he is right, and, and I, I don't know what I'm doing anymore" she cried.

"Oh Addison" Pete whispered pulling her into his arms "It's ok, you'll be ok"

"I'm in love with Sam, that isn't ok, because it will hurt Naomi, and I'm sleeping with you, and by not being with him I'm hurting him, and by being with you I'm hurting him, and, and it's not that I don't, enjoy us, because I do, I really do but, it's Sam" she whispered "And I really, really don't want to hurt him, and I really don't, I don't want him to hate me"

"Addison he doesn't hate you" Pete sighed "He's just upset"

"It's like, like he thinks it was easy for me to say no to him, it wasn't easy, it was, one of the hardest things I've ever done, and, and he's, he's Sam, and I can't lose Sam, I can't, I won't, he, he can't just, cut me off, that isn't fair"

"Addison, what isn't fair is you putting everyone else before yourself, it might seem selfish but if you love him, surely you should be with him, if I could be with Violet I'd be with Violet, you know that"

"But Naomi…." Addison sniffled.

"Would probably feel hurt, and get upset, and yeah, she may not want to be around you for a while but, she'll get over it, she will, she turned up today didn't she?"

"It's too late" Addison whispered "I need, I need to get away, I need to, get out"

"Well, why don't you change into something more comfortable and we'll go for a walk, get some fresh air"

"No I need, I need to get out of LA, I need to leave I can't, I can't be here, I can't, I need, I need some space"

"Addison you can't leave, you can't run away, that's, that's ridiculous, you have the practice and, you have responsibilities Addison"

"They'll cope" Addison said climbing to her feet, she walked through to her bedroom and pulled out a suitcase from under her bed, she changed out of her dress and started to throw clothes into the case.

"Addison you can't be serious" Pete sighed "You can't, Addison, don't do this"

"It's not forever" Addison mumbled.

"And what exactly are you going to tell everyone?"

"I'll tell them I've gone on vacation, which is what I'm doing, you're not changing my mind Pete"

"At least tell me where you're going"

"I don't know where I'm going" Addison sighed "I'll, I'll let you know when I'm there, that I'm safe, I promise, ok?"

"Ok" Pete replied "Ok fine" he moved over to her and hugged her tightly "You better get your ass back here soon"

"I will" Addison whispered.

"You promise?"

"I promise"

~x~

Addison stood outside of Callie's apartment nervously late that evening, she'd managed to get a last minute flight, she could hear the sounds of laughter coming from behind the door, she lifted her hand up and knocked a few times, she heard the shuffling of feet and the door opened to reveal Arizona.

"Addison!" she said with surprise "What are you doing here?"

"Is, is Callie home?" Addison stuttered.

"Yeah, sure, come on in" Arizona smiled "Cal, look whose here"

"Addison" Callie smiled standing up from the sofa, Cristina, Owen, Mark, Derek and Meredith all looked over curiously "You didn't tell me you were coming" she said walking over and hugging her.

"I, I know I should've called but, I, I didn't know I was coming and, I was at the airport and I, Seattle was, on the board and, I, I just needed, to get away and, and, I…." she stuttered twisting her hands together and shifting nervously.

"What happened?" Callie instantly frowned "Addison, what happened?" Addison broke down into sobs against Callie's body, Callie's arms instantly wrapped around her "Hey, hey honey, what, what's wrong? Addison?"

"I, I screwed up, I screwed it all up, I, I, I can't, I can't, he, he said, he said he, he doesn't want to see me and, I didn't, I didn't mean to hurt him but, I didn't want, to hurt Naomi and, and because, it, and it hurt him instead and, I didn't want to, I, I love him" she sobbed "I love him and, and now he can't, he says he doesn't, want to see me because, I slept with Pete and, it, it was just sex, that's, that's all it was, because I couldn't be with him, so I slept with Pete and, Pete can't be with Violet because she's still in her crazy and, we just, needed something, and then he, found out and he said, he doesn't want to see me and I can't, I can't lose him, I can't, I love him, I can't, I can't, I don't…."

"Hey, hey slow down" Callie said cupping her face firmly "Slow down, take a breath, in and out" she said breathing with her "That's it, in and out, now, slowly, what happened, who the hell is making you go this crazy? Because I've seen you upset over guys Addie and this, this is different, what the hell happened?"

"Sam" Addison whispered "It's Sam, the guy, it's Sam"

"Sam as in...Sam Bennett?" Derek asked, all the women seemed to turn to him and glare "What? It was just a perfectly reasonable question" he mumbled.

"Yeah" Addison breathed "Sam as in Sam Bennett, as in my best friends ex-husband, which is why I stopped it before it could start because I can't do that to Naomi, I can't, she would _hate_ me, and she's already a mess because of the Maya thing and this would just, kill her, so I stopped it, and that hurt Sam, obviously, and now he knows about me and Pete and he, he said that he didn't say anything when I slept with Mark, but Pete is his friend, just like Naomi's my friend, Pete's his friend, and he doesn't want to see me anymore"

"Addie when was this?" Callie asked softly.

"Um, about 6 hours ago" Addison mumbled.

"Addison" Callie sighed "You said you weren't going to do this anymore"

"Do what?" Addison exclaimed.

"Run" Callie said simply "You're running away, you're running away because you know exactly what to do to make it right, but because you're thinking about everyone else but yourself you won't do it, yeah, Naomi will get hurt, and she probably won't be happy with it for a while, but she'll get over it, because she loves you, and if he makes you happy then that's all that matters, does he make you happy?"

"Yeah" Addison whispered "But…."

"Then that's all that matters" Callie said softly "Come on, this isn't you, you're better than this"

"But Naomi said that it'd make me the worst person ever" Addison said quickly "Before I turned Sam down I sort of, casually dropped it into conversation and she, she laughed in my face, hysterical crazy laughter, husbands best friend, best friends husband, worst person ever, she failed to mention patients husband…."

"I thought you didn't sleep with Noah" Callie frowned.

"I didn't!" Addison exclaimed "But it still makes me a bad person, I'm a cheater, it's what I do, it's what my parents do, my brother, we're a family of pathetic cheaters who drown their problems in alcohol, I'm a screw up, and now I have nothing, I have no husband, I can't have kids, all I have is my job, which is great, I love my job, but I just need god to give me a freaking break and find me someone who isn't married, or the exes of my friends, or the friends of my exes, I've only had that once, with Kevin, and I screwed that up too!" she said with a tired laugh "So can you just stop with the supportive crap and let me sleep on your sofa for a few days"

"You're going back to LA, you're not staying here forever" Callie said firmly "You're going to get your ass back there, you're going to tell Naomi the truth and you're going to tell Sam, that you love him, and that even though it's going to be hard you're willing to give it a try, ok?"

"No" Addison pouted.

"You say ok or your sleeping in the hall"

"Ok" Addison whispered "I'm sorry" she mumbled hugging Callie again "I just completely crashed your evening"

"It's ok" Callie said softly "We were about to see how many shots Meredith could drink in a minute, wanna watch?"

"Ok" Addison laughed wiping her cheeks.

"Come on" Callie said leading her to the sofa.

~x~

"Hey" Violet smiled as she walked into the kitchen the next morning, Charlotte and Cooper stood at opposite ends of the room barely looking at each other.

"Hey" Cooper smiled.

"Hi" Sam said walking in.

"So, last night went well" Violet smiled "All that hard work paid off"

"It did" Sam smiled "Thanks Vi, I owe you"

"Yeah, you do" Violet laughed.

"Guys, I just found this on the front desk" Dell said walking in "It's from Addison, says she's had to go away for awhile, she doesn't know when she'll be back but she doesn't want us to worry, she's safe but she needs some time to think, she sends her love and says sorry for leaving so suddenly"

"Well, it's alright for some" Charlotte muttered.

"Let me see that" Sam said taking the note from Dell "Damn it" he whispered.

"What?" Violet frowned.

"Damn it" Sam said again.

"Wait is this, this doesn't have anything to do with, the other week does it?" asked Violet "When she threw me out of your office, Sam, what did you do?"

"Who said I did anything!" Sam exclaimed "How do you know it wasn't her?"

"Because you are looking very guilty right now" said Cooper.

"This isn't being put on me, no way, she, she played a big a part in, it doesn't matter!" Sam said frustratedly "Just get to work" he said storming from the office.

"Well, I have a feeling there's more to that than meets the eye" said Dell.

"Ya think" Charlotte said dryly.

~x~

"Ow" Addison groaned as she woke slowly, her hand instantly coming to her forehead, she slowly sat up and took in her surroundings, laughing a little as she saw Meredith passed out on the other sofa.

"Meredith" Cristina said bursting out of her bedroom and shaking Meredith a little.

"What?" Meredith groaned "Go away"

"We have 15 minutes to get into work" Cristina said quickly.

"Shit" Meredith said shooting up from the sofa "Where the hell is Derek?"

"I think I heard a pager go off at some point" Addison yawned.

"Crap" Meredith said shoving her shoes on and shooting out of the apartment, Cristina disappeared back into her bedroom.

"Yo Torres" Mark boomed walking into the apartment "I'm using your milk" he said walking over to the refrigerator.

"What? You're not even going to say good morning?" Addison mumbled walking over to the sink and pouring herself some water gulping it straight back.

"Good morning" Mark muttered.

"Have you got a problem with me or something Mark? Because you haven't been able to look at me since I got here, I have a hangover and I'm already pissed off, I don't need to add you to my list of problems" Addison sighed.

"Sam" Mark said simply "You're in love with Sam?" he exclaimed.

"What exactly is your point?"

"I, did, did you love him then? When me and you, did you…." Mark trailed off a little.

"I felt something" Addison nodded "He's been there for me, when Naomi left the practice, after Noah and, then we were out running and we found this couple in a car wreck, and the woman was pregnant, so I got in the car to help and then the car started to roll down the hill and, we were there all night, I saved the baby, but lost the mom, and it was, awful, and he was there, and we kissed, and that's kind of where it started, and then my parents showed up and he was there, he let me sleep in his bed because I couldn't face going home, and then because I'm an idiot I came on to him, he said no, obviously, and then you were there and the Maya stuff started and he went out and got drunk, and then we kissed again, and that's when I spoke to Naomi, I really hurt him Mark, and now I don't, I don't know what to do" she whispered tearfully.

"Hey, hey don't, don't do that" Mark said hugging her "You'll work it out"

"Hey" Callie smiled walking through to the kitchen "So, I just got a message from Shepherd, he's given me the day off to sort you out"

"But…." Addison started.

"He wouldn't let me say no" Callie smirked "I was thinking a little shopping, some lunch maybe"

"Ok" Addison whispered "Thank you Cal"

"My pleasure" Callie smiled.

~x~

"Hey" Naomi smiled walking into the kitchen at Oceanside Wellness, Violet stood leaning against the counter with a mug of coffee "Is Addie around?"

"Did nobody tell you?" Violet asked.

"Tell me what?" Naomi frowned.

"She's gone" Violet said handing her the note "Dell found it this morning"

"She needs to think" Naomi said slowly "What the hell does she need to think about?" Naomi said pulling her cell phone out and dialing Addison's number "Voicemail" she sighed "Addie it's me, where the hell are you? You can't just up and leave and not tell me! Call me as soon as you get this, I love you, bye" she said hanging up.

"I think something happened with her and Sam"

"Sam?" Naomi said curiously "Why would something happen with her and Sam?"

"I don't know" Violet shrugged "They just went really weird with each other a couple of weeks ago, she came into Sam's office when we were wedding planning, Sam pretty much ignored her, then she threw me out, I don't know what happened but she didn't look happy, I asked if something was wrong, to do with the practice, and she just brushed it off, said it was nothing to worry about, but they've been so, hostile and, weird, and not Sam and Addison, and when we found out she left Sam looked guilty as hell, and when we said that to him he went, well, he went crazy, said that it wasn't being put on him, she played a big a part in….and then he stopped talking and stormed out, so, I don't know what the hell is going on, but talk to Sam, he seems to know exactly what's going on"

"Right, right I think, I think I'll do that" Naomi said squeezing her arm and walking out, she knocked on Sam's office door and walked in.

"Oh, hey" Sam said looking up to her.

"What did you do to Addison?" she asked firmly.

"I didn't do anything!" Sam exclaimed "Why does everyone think I've done something?"

"Violet says you've been acting really hostile with each other for weeks, and when you found out she was gone you looked really guilty, what did you do and why does she need to think?"

"It doesn't matter, ask Pete, he should know where she is right? Or does she just bring him in here to have sex in her office then send him on his way?" Sam said bitterly.

"This is about her having sex in the office?" Naomi frowned.

"She can do what the hell she likes with whoever she likes, if she wants to make an idiot out of herself, that's up to her" Sam shrugged.

"Sam what the hell is wrong with you?" Naomi exclaimed "This isn't like you, to talk about her like this, she's supposed to be your friend"

"Exactly" Sam said simply.

"Sam, I really need to know what the hell is going on! Addison is gone! My best friend is god knows where, she needs to think which obviously means she's upset, she won't answer her cell, I'm worried Sam" Naomi sighed.

"I don't know where she is Naomi, she's, she's probably in Seattle, or New York, she said she'd be back right?"

"Thanks very much for your help Sam" Naomi said dryly before storming out of the office.

~x~

"Hey" Pete smiled walking into the conference room at Oceanside Wellness, Sam, Cooper, Charlotte, Violet and Dell all sat around the table drinking coffee and reading through their charts "Busy day?"

"The longest ever" Dell sighed "I had to take all Addison's patients as well as mine so, yeah, busy day"

"I called everyone I know in New York" Naomi said walking in "She's not there"

"She said she needs space" said Pete "Just give her space"

"What do you know?" Naomi glared up at him "You know something"

"I told her not to leave Naomi, I told her to stay, but she didn't, she was adamant that she needed to get out" Pete sighed "Just leave her be"

"Why do you know so much?" Violet asked.

"Because he's been screwing her" Sam said simply without looking up from his chart.

"Sam!" Naomi exclaimed.

"Oh, sorry" Sam said looking up "I thought that was common knowledge, obviously not"

"Sam, you need to get a grip" Pete said firmly "Yeah, me and Addison slept together, we've been sleeping together for a couple of weeks, but that's all it is, just sex, because we're both pissed off, and we both needed someone there, she's my friend, she's one of my best friends, and she is sick and tired and upset, and she really just needs a break, and you" he said pointing at Sam "You need to get your head out of your own ass and grow up"

"I need to grow up!" Sam exclaimed standing up abruptly and stepping towards him, Naomi moved to stand behind Violets chair, holding onto the back of it for support "Your the one who's not man enough to tell the woman he loves he loves her, or even try and help her get through what she's been through"

"This has nothing to do with me and Violet!" Pete almost yelled "This is about Addison, this is about Addison always putting everyone else before herself, and it only ends up making her feel like crap, you know full well why she's gone Sam, because you, you don't want to see her anymore do you, isn't that what you said last night? I don't want to see you. You said that right? Right?" Pete said as they stepped even closer together.

"Yes, I said that, because it's true, I don't want to see her anymore, I can't even look at her" Sam said simply.

"Sam" Naomi and Violet both said with a slight gasp.

"Wh...why would...why would you say that?" Naomi stuttered.

"Because I'm in love with her!" Sam shouted, Pete tensed up a little, Naomi froze, everyone else's jaws seemed to drop.

"I'm in love with her" Sam said a little quieter "And, and I wanted, I wanted to give it a shot, I wanted us, to be together, because I know she feels something for me too, I know that, but she won't, she won't even _try _because of you" he said looking to Naomi "She won't even try, because she doesn't want to hurt you, but by doing that she is _killing_ me, and she went on and on about how you're her friend and she can't do that to you and then she sleeps with Pete! She sleeps with _my_ friend. And I don't care if it's just sex, that isn't the point, the point is, I'm in love with her, I'm in love with her in a, crazy, unexpected, huge way, I love her so much, that right now, I hate her, and I don't want to do it anymore, I'm not the one who can fix this, you are" he said pointing at Naomi.

"I found her crying, last night" Pete said quietly "She disappeared at the wedding so I went and checked her house, she was in her bathroom on the floor and she was crying, crying because you said you don't want to see her anymore" he said gesturing to Sam "Crying because she doesn't want to hurt either of you, but whatever she does she will, crying because she thinks you hate her, because saying no to you was one of the hardest things she's ever done, crying because she doesn't want to lose either of you, she's a mess, she promised she'd come back, but I'm really not so sure"

"I can't believe this" Naomi whispered dropping herself into an empty chair "Oh god I can't believe this" she said putting her face in her hands "How, how long have you….was this...in med school...have you always…."

"Naomi don't be ridiculous" Sam sighed "Yes, I asked her out once, before you, and she said no, because she wanted Derek and she knew you liked me, and it was the best thing she could have done because then I fell in love with you, and I married you, and I had a beautiful daughter with you, I loved you with everything I had, you know that, and yeah, since my feelings changed for Addie I did have a what if moment, but, that has nothing to do with what I felt for you, what I feel for you, I will always love you Nae, you're the mother of my child, I'll always love you, but I'm in love with her, and I can't switch that off at the click of a button because you don't like it"

"I know" Naomi whispered "I know that, I just, I knew something was wrong but that, that I wasn't expecting" she said with a nervous laugh.

"I didn't expect it either" Sam sighed "Oh god this is so screwed up" he mumbled.

"Have you even tried Seattle?" Cooper asked suddenly "Doesn't she have another best friend there or something?"

"Callie" Naomi said quietly "Of course! Callie!" she exclaimed "I'll go and call her" she said making her way towards the door.

"Wait! Naomi" Sam called after her.

"What Sam?"

"What are we doing?" he asked.

"This is weird" Naomi said simply "And I'm kind of freaking out but, if she's had to fly half way across the country I know it's serious, that's how she ended up here, I'm not happy about it, but I'll try to get used to the idea of you being together, but you're not allowed to screw it up, or hurt her, because if you hurt her, I'll kill you, ok?"

"Ok" Sam nodded.

~x~

"She's in Seattle" Naomi said walking into Sam's office "She showed up at Callie's place and had a break down, Derek gave Callie the day off and they went shopping, apparently she keeps saying she'll go back but Callie's worried that she won't"

"So, what do we do?" Sam asked.

"We go out there and we get her back" Naomi said firmly.

"Naomi, you can't go out there if you're going to be horrible to her, this isn't her fault, it just happened" Sam sighed.

"I know that Sam!" Naomi exclaimed "Book us the earliest flights you can, I want to be there by tonight, I'll go and call Maya"

~x~

"Derek please" Addison begged as she stood in his office "One surgery, just a c-section, something, please"

"Addison, you're not exactly in a stable place right now" Derek sighed.

"You know me Derek, I've worked under worse, please"

"Fine" he sighed "One, one surgery, that's it"

"Thank you" Addison said hugging him "I really need it"

"I know" Derek smirked "But, firstly, we need to talk"

"Oh god" Addison groaned "Fine, ask away, tell me I'm the worst person ever, go ahead"

"You're not the worst person ever" Derek said softly "But you and Sam I, I didn't see that one coming"

"We didn't see it coming either" Addison said with a laugh flopping herself down onto the sofa "It just, happened, after Naomi left the practice and I had a nightmare time with this guy Noah and he was there for me, it's Sam, of course he was there, and we live next door to each other so we're kind of in each others pockets y'know? And we kissed, once, we'd had the most awful night ever, we were out running and we found a crashed car, and it was just, a horrible horrible night, I got trapped in the car because I was trying to help the woman trapped inside, she was 9 months pregnant, and it just, it was horrible and terrifying, and the next morning we were sat out on my deck, and he'd asked me, before we had the accident, what if I'd said yes when he asked me out in med school"

"He asked you out in med school?" Derek said raising his eyebrow.

"Yeah" Addison laughed "I said no, because I liked you and Naomi liked him so, I said no, which was the best thing to do, I don't think we would've worked back then, we're different now, we've grown up, and anyway, we were on my deck and I mentioned it, and we laughed, and then we kissed, we kissed and it, it was a good kiss, a great kiss, and after we just laughed, and that was kind of it for a while, and then my parents were there and they were, well, my parents, and Sam was there for me, and we kissed again, well, I kissed him, it was desperate and humiliating and ugh" Addison shuddered "Then Mark came and I was plunged back into a pit of feeling like crap"

"Well" Derek smirked "Mark tends to do that to women"

"Which makes me feel all the more stupid because I know that" Addison said with a laugh "And then after he'd gone Maya came to me and told me about the pregnant thing and it just, exploded, everything changed, Naomi just, went crazy, which is understandable but, she just kept pulling away, and it was me who had to be there for Sam, and for Maya, and then the whole wedding thing came up and Sam got drunk and turned up at my house and we kissed again, and the next day in my office we tried to justify all the kissing, said it was just a comfort thing, a safe kissing place, then we decided that wasn't the case at all, so I casually dropped it all into a conversation with Naomi and that didn't go so well, so I pushed him away, I pushed him away and it killed me, it really killed me, and then me and Pete started this whole friends with benefits thing which seemed like a good idea at the time but then Sam found out and well, here I am"

"You ran away" Derek nodded "You ran away because things got tough, that's not the Addison I know"

"I don't know where that Addison is anymore" Addison sighed.

"She's in there" Derek said moving to sit next to her "Everything will work out just fine, you wait, you'll go back with a clear head and everything will be ok, whether your with Sam or Pete or you're just on your own, everything will work out"

"I hope so Derek, I really do" Addison whispered.

~x~

"Hey" Callie smiled approaching Addison at the nurses station "How did the surgery go?"

"Perfect" Addison smiled.

"Good" Callie smiled "Coffee?"

"Yes please" Addison said with a laugh, Callie led them to the cafeteria, she bought them both coffees and scanned her eyes over the room, her eyes landing on a very nervous looking Sam and an anxious Naomi "Hey what are you...looking at" Addison stuttered as she followed her eyes "Oh my god" she whispered "Did you call them?" she exclaimed.

"Naomi called me" Callie said simply "Come on" she said pulling her a little.

"No, I, I can't" Addison stuttered.

"Addison, come on" Callie said pulling her firmly, as Addison reached the table and Sam and Naomi looked up at her a wash of realization came over her.

"You told her!" she exclaimed.

"Yes" Sam said simply.

"Oh god" Addison groaned "I have to go" she said trying to turn, Callie caught her and turned her around.

"No running" she said firmly.

"Sit" Naomi said pulling out a chair, Addison let out a sigh and sit down.

"I'm mad at you" Naomi said simply "But not because of Sam, because you just left! You left and, you should have just talked to me Addison" she sighed.

"And say what Nae? You've been through enough the past couple of months with Maya and, I can't, I can't, I couldn't put this on you too, I just couldn't, I won't"

"So you just thought you'd hurt Sam instead?"

"I didn't want to hurt either of you!" Addison exclaimed "That's why I had to leave, because either way, no matter what happened, I'd be hurting one of you, and now, now I've done what I didn't want to happen and I've hurt you both! And I just can't do it anymore" Addison said tearfully "I can't, I can't have you both hate me, I can't"

"I don't hate you" Naomi said squeezing her hand.

"I do" Sam said simply.

"Sam" Naomi hissed.

"No" Sam replied "No, I do hate her, I hate her for choosing you over me, I hate her for sleeping with Pete, I hate her for leaving, I hate her, I hate her because I don't hate her at all, because I can't hate her, because I love her, because I love you" he said slowly as he took Addison hands in his "I. Love. You."

"Sam" Addison whispered shakily.

"If you want me to fight for you, I'll fight for you, I'll do it" Sam said firmly "I'll fight every single day until you let yourself love me back"

"This is weird for me Addison" Naomi said softly "But seeing you like this, I can't, I don't want you to put yourself through this because of me, I don't hate you, I could never hate you, you're still my best friend, and if he makes you happy then stop thinking about me, and think about yourself, now, do you love him?"

"Ye...yes" Addison stuttered.

"And you want to be with him?"

"Yes" Addison sniffled wiping tears from her cheeks.

"Then for gods sake will you be with him!" Naomi exclaimed "He's been sulking since we got on the plane and it's pissing me off so, fix it"

Addison let out a tired laugh and wiped more tears from her cheeks.

"Naomi, why don't we go and get some cake" Callie said standing up.

"I like the way you think" Naomi laughed following Callie, Sam stood up and moved to the chair closest to Addison, he brought his thumb up to her cheek and brushed away another tear.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered "I'm so so sorry"

"I know" he whispered "It's ok, it's ok, I promise you, everything will be ok" he said squeezing her hand.

"Just kiss me" she whispered again, Sam slowly pressed their lips together, her arms came around his neck as his wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him as their tongues mixed "I love you" he said against her mouth "I love you so much Addie"

"I love you too" she said with a quiet whimper "I'm so sorry, about Pete and, I didn't, I just needed to feel something, I just felt, numb, I needed to feel like I was still worth something"

"Oh Addie you're worth everything, don't ever think otherwise, you are worth the world, this is our fresh start Addison, so we're going to forget about everything that happened before, all of it, the things we said, Pete, Naomi, it's all gone, it's just you and me now ok?"

"Ok" Addison nodded "Ok" she said with a small smile.

"Ok" he whispered pecking her lips again.

~x~

"Oh good, you're both here" Addison smiled as she popped her head into Derek's office to find Mark sat with him "I just came to say goodbye"

"You're leaving" Mark said raising his eyebrow "That was quick, we had bets going and everything"

"I'm sure you did" she smirked "But yes, I'm leaving" she smiled "It's time to go home now, start a fresh, plus, Naomi and Sam just showed up to drag me back"

"What?" Mark and Derek both exclaimed.

"Hey" Naomi said stepping into the room with a laugh.

"Hey" Sam said following her in.

"Damn it" Mark groaned handing Derek a twenty from his pocket.

"Oh god I'm good" Derek laughed.

"What the hell is going on?" Naomi smirked.

"I just had a feeling that you'd both show up" Derek shrugged "And Mark bet that you wouldn't, so, I win"

"You're still as immature as ever" Addison smirked "Anyway" she sighed "I just wanted to say thank you, for letting me freak out on you, both of you, I'm the epitome of a mess, but at least you don't have to put up with it full time anymore"

"N'aww, I kind of miss your freak outs" Derek said hugging her "Be happy Addison, and you" he said turning to Sam "Don't screw it up"

"I won't" Sam said with a slight laugh "I promise" he said reaching out and squeezing Addison's hand.

"You know I'll always be there for you right?" Mark whispered as he hugged Addison tightly.

"I know" she whispered back "Me too, for you, I'm always a phone call away, you know that"

"Be happy" Mark said kissing her cheek softly.

"You too" she said squeezing his hand "Right, we have a flight to catch" she sighed.

"Call us when you land" Derek said as he showed them out of his office.

"We will" Naomi smiled "Bye guys"

"Bye" Derek said with a wave, himself and Mark watched as the three of them walked down the walkway, Sam's arm around her shoulders, hers around his waist.

"You think they'll work?" Mark asked.

"Yeah" Derek said softly "I really do"

~x~

"Hey Milo" Addison smiled crouching down and picking him up as she stepped into her house with Sam "I missed you" she said stroking his fur.

"I put out some more food before I left" Sam said pulling her suitcase in with him.

"Thanks" Addison smiled letting Milo down onto the floor, she walked into her kitchen and took out two glasses and a bottle of wine instantly pouring some out and gulping some back.

"Slow down Addie" Sam said with a laugh.

"Sorry" she mumbled.

"And stop saying sorry" he said kissing her softly "Relax"

"I'm just tired" she sighed dropping her head to his shoulder.

"How about" he said putting her glass of wine on the counter "We go upstairs, and I give you a massage? Help with the relaxing"

"Ok" Addison said biting her lip a little "That sounds nice"

"Ok" Sam smiled, he took her hand and led her up the stairs, they walked into the bedroom, the door closing behind them "Lie down" he whispered kissing the back of her neck before moving into the bathroom, he returned with a bottle of lotion, he turned the lights down low, he stripped down to his t-shirt and boxers and climbed onto the bed where Addison was lying on her side, he slowly started to removed her clothes, placing soft kisses on her skin, he put some lotion in his hands and started to slowly rub it into her back.

"Mmm, that's nice" she sighed.

"Good" Sam smiled "You're so beautiful Addie" he said leaning down and kissing the back of her neck "I love you"

"I love you too" Addison whispered, she let him massage every part of her body which soon made her feel more relaxed than she had in weeks, she slowly turned onto her back and pulled him into a deep kiss, her hands moved to the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulled it from him.

"Addie" he whispered as her hands came to the top of his boxers "Are you sure? Because we can wait…."

"We've waited long enough Sam" she said kissing him softly, she pushed his boxers of his hips, Sam kicked them off his feet before climbing on top of her, his lips moved down her neck as her legs moved to wrap around his body.

"Sam" she whispered massaging his hardness in her hands, Sam positioned himself at her hole and slowly guided himself into her, both of them letting out groans, he thrust against her, every move was slow and deep, he hit against her cervix, her moans getting louder and louder.

"Oh god" she groaned thrusting her hips upwards, Sam moved his hands to her hips and held them down as his pace quickened, her hands gripped onto his arms, he kissed her hard on the lips as they neared their orgasms, she suddenly cried out loudly, her whole body writhing against the bed, her heart racing, a second later and Sam came inside her with a moan of her name.

"Oh my god" Addison gasped as Sam rolled onto the bed next to her, their bodies instantly curling together "That was amazing"

"It was" Sam said kissing her slowly "So worth the wait"

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah" he grinned kissing her again.

"Do you think Violet's mad at me? Because of Pete" Addison asked after 5 minutes of a comfortable silence.

"I think it shocked her, but, I think it's forced them to have a conversation they should've had a long time ago, and she doesn't really get to judge you, she slept with your Dad"

"Oh please don't remind me" Addison shuddered.

"Sorry" Sam said with a laugh.

"Bizzy's a lesbian" Addison said simply.

"What?" Sam exclaimed.

"Do you remember when I thought maybe something was going on with Susan and the Captain, and I went over there to ask them to leave, and then I came to you and asked to sleep in your bed"

"Yeah" Sam said slowly.

"Well, I found my Mom and Susan, kissing" she said squirming a little "They've been together for 20 years, _20 years_ Sam, that's like, half my life, this woman who I trusted, who I told some of my deepest darkest secrets to, was screwing my mother, she is screwing my mother"

"Wow" Sam muttered "No wonder you wanted to drown yourself in Gin"

"Right" Addison said with a laugh.

"We'll never be like that" Sam said kissing her temple "We're going to stick together, no lies, we'll talk about what we're feeling when we feel it, we're going to be honest with each other"

"Ok but if I ask you if I look old you still have to lie and say I look young, even when I'm like 85 ok?"

"Ok" Sam said with a laugh.

"I'm going to sleep now" she mumbled snuggling against him.

"Ok" he whispered kissing her temple "I love you"

"I love you too, night"

"Night"

~x~

"Hey" Addison said appearing in the doorway of Violet's office "Can we talk?"

"Sure, come in" Violet smiled, they both moved to the sofa and sat down "So, how was Seattle?"

"Violet, let's cut the crap, I ran away, that's what I did, I ran because I freaked out and didn't know what to do, but that's not why I'm here, I just, I need to know that you don't hate me, because what I did, with Pete, it wasn't anything against you, I wasn't trying to get back at you because of my Dad or, trying to take him away, I wasn't trying to hurt you and…."

"Addison" Violet said cutting her off "I know ok? I know"

"You, you know?" Addison stuttered.

"Even if you and Pete got together in a non friends with benefits way, even if you did start dating him, it would have nothing to do with me, Pete has nothing to do with me anymore, I pushed him away, I pushed my _son_ away, I don't hate you, I could never hate you, you saved my life Addison, you saved the practice, you keep on saving us and you never give yourself a break, and I'm really hoping that you and Sam came back together last night, because nobody wants to see you so unhappy that you have to run again"

"Thank you Violet" Addison said squeezing her hand "And yeah, me and Sam came back together last night, have, have you and Pete talked?"

"A little" Violet nodded "I'm, I'm not ready, but, I'm seeing a therapist, I know right? A therapist seeing a therapist" she said with a slight laugh "But, it's, it's helping, at least I think it is"

"It's for the best Violet" Addison said softly "You shouldn't have tried to deal with it all on your own, and I'm here, if you need to talk, you know that Violet, I'm here"

"I'm here too" Violet said softly "You should've spoken to me, before, when I asked you what was wrong, you should've told me"

"Ok, don't kill me" Addison said with a laugh "But I kind of spoke to Sheldon"

"Sheldon?" Violet smirked.

"Yeah we, I basically force him to give me therapy sessions in the elevator"

"Right" Violet laughed "What did he say?"

"Exactly what I was thinking, that Naomi's already had so much to deal with, and he didn't want to see her get hurt anymore, well, he didn't say Naomi because I didn't use names but, it was pretty obvious, I still feel so guilty" she said with a whisper.

"Addison, if she wasn't ok with this, if she couldn't accept it, then she wouldn't have come after you with him, she just wouldn't, you know Naomi, she runs, she runs just like you do, and this time she didn't run, she faced it, just let yourself be happy for once, face it Addison, don't run"

"Wanna eat chocolate?" Addison asked, Violet reached under the coffee table and pulled out a box, Addison laughed a little and took one.

"God, if we get anymore depressed we're gonna get really fat" Violet said through a mouthful.

"At least we'll be fat together" Addison smirked.

~x~

"Hey" Sam smiled as he walked into the break room later that day to find Addison sat at the counter eating her lunch.

"Hey" she smiled back at him "How's your day going?"

"Good" Sam replied "I only have one more patient and then I'm done but I have a ton of paperwork to catch up on so, I'll be in my office for another couple of hours, you?" he said taking his lunch from the refrigerator and sitting down next to her.

"Paperwork" Addison sighed "Can I come and do it in your office?"

"Sure you can" Sam smiled pecking her lips softly.

"I love you" Addison whispered pressing her forehead to his.

"I love you too baby" Sam smiled.

"And I would _love_ to know when you were going to bother telling me about all this" Maya said walking into the room and standing at the side of the island "You disappear at my wedding and you end up in Seattle over a guy?" Maya exclaimed "And I'm supposed to be the stupid immature one"

"Maya" Sam said with a laugh.

"No, no it's ok" Addison laughed "She has a point, it was stupid and immature"

"So" Maya said firmly "Is this real? Like, together forever in love real?"

"Yeah" Sam said softly "It's real"

"Good" Maya smiled "It's about time you got a girlfriend Dad" she smirked.

"Thanks" Sam said dryly.

"And both of you" she said firmly "Don't screw it up"

"We'll try our best" Addison said with a small smile.

"Ok then" Maya breathed "Well, Dink's waiting for me so, I'm gonna go" she reached across and kissed both their cheeks "Bye" she waved.

"Bye" they both smiled.

"Well" Addison started "That went well"

"I knew it would" Sam said softly.

"I spoke to Violet today" Addison said quietly "We're good, we ate chocolate, so that's good"

"Right" Sam said with a laugh "Well, I have a patient, I should be done in an hour so come on in when you're ready" he said standing up and pecking her lips.

"Ok" she smiled "I'm gonna go, see Naomi, she left pretty quickly at the airport"

"Ok" he whispered "It'll all be ok Addie, I promise"

"I know, I love you"

"I love you too" Sam smiled.

~x~

"Hey, can I come in?" Addison said standing in the doorway of Naomi's office, looking to Naomi who was sitting on the sofa, files spread out on the coffee table in front of her.

"Yeah, yeah sure" Naomi stuttered.

"I just went out to that bakery down the street we love, I have white chocolate mud cake" she said gesturing to the box in her arms, she put the box on the sofa between them, handed Naomi a fork and took a bite of the cake.

"You don't have to bribe me y'know" Naomi said as she took a bite "Oh my god that's amazing" she mumbled.

"Right" Addison said with a laugh "And I'm not bribing you"

"Addie, I'm not stupid" Naomi smirked "This is guilt cake, it's very good guilt cake, but it's guilt cake, and you have nothing to feel guilty about"

"Yes I do" Addison whispered.

"If I wasn't willing to get past this do you really think I would've bothered to drag your ass back from Seattle?" Naomi asked "If I wasn't willing I would've left you there, it's not easy seeing you together, but I think it will get easier, I know it will, because I know he makes you happy, and I know you make him happy, and that's all I really want"

"I want you to be happy too" Addison said softly "I love you Nae" she said squeezing her hand.

"I love you too" Naomi smiled "Now shut up and eat your cake"

"Ok" Addison laughed.

~x~

"Hey" Addison smiled walking into Sam's office, he was sat on his sofa, files on the coffee table in front of him as he checked through them.

"Hey" Sam smiled, Addison sat down next to him, her own set of files in her arms, she curled up against his side, they sat in a comfortable silence as they worked through their files.

"I love you" Sam said breaking the silence several minutes later.

"I love you too" Addison said softly, she stretched up a little as he looked down, their lips softly touching, they turned back to their work and settled back in to their comfortable silence.

~x~ ~x~ ~x~


End file.
